Texting is nothing to “LOL” about, from a parent’s perspective.  That’s because today’s teens are glued 24/7 to their cell phones, clicking away hastily as they carry on lengthy conversations with friends.

Most parents have a hard time understanding why their kids would rather text message a friend than pay a personal visit or use the telephone.  But the fact remains that technology is completely integrated into how teens communicate.  They start their days “IM’ing” friends or checking to see who’s online.  Later in the day, the spend hours texting friends on their cell phones, with some teens sending over 5,000 text messages a month. 

“Even when they’re not on their cell phones or test messaging, the devices are on and kids are distracted by them,” says Dr. Michael Osit, a clinical psychologist and author “Generation Text: Raising Well-Adjusted Kids in an Age of Instant Everything.”

Osit points out that inter-machine interaction plays a huge role in the social development of techno-oriented kids.  This can be harmful because children don’t automatically understand social skills - they have to practice them.  “In normal situations, there is a progression in a relationship that has natural, appropriate boundaries are dismantled prematurely,” he says. ”They become too intimate and too close, and they say things they normally wouldn’t say in person.”

Another problem with texting is that parents are not privy to the communication that takes places, in the old days, parents were able to observe and teach their children about what was appropriate and inappropriate in relationships, which is not the case in today’s private world of technology.

When excessive texting becomes a ssubstitute for face-to-face and voice-to-voice interaction, it can stunt communications skills, because there is a lack of nonverbal signs and signals - which are just as important as words.  “About 60 percent of a message is nonverbal, so teens dependent on testing lose out on how to truly communicate with people,” says Osit.

Bullying is also a problem, as many teens send mass messages via e-mail or their cell phones.  “The invisibility of techno talk can be perilous in many cases and can have damaging effects on children,”  Osit explains.  For example, in 2006, a Missouri teenage committed suicide after being the victim of a cruel cyber hoax.

Despite all the problems with this communications technology, Osit notes that it does have some bbenefits.  In some ways, it helps teens conquer timidity when they’re very shy.  “If practiced with proper monitoring, this ttechnology can help improve kids’ social skills.”

Ahhhh, dinnertime with the kids….quiet conversation and positive vibes are flowing, right?  No likely!  If your dinner table resembles most households, meals are never-ending battles with you as ring leader, saying “Sit in your chair!” and “Use your utensils, not your hands!”

Try this trick, and smooth sailing may not be far out of reach.  Give each family member (mom and dad included) one “token” at the beginning of dinner - quarters, bingo chips or paper cutouts.  Place them in the middle of the table.  Each time someone is reminded about their table manners, one of the token get removed.  If there are tokens left after dinner, everyone can have dessert.  If you work up to having ALL the tokens on the table…head out for ice cream to celebrate!

Don’t Cave into Them!!!  Sometimes there are things in life we’re just not prepared for…like when you’re sitting at the table with your very well-behaved straight-A almost 7-year old having a snack, and she hits you with, “Mom, can we go get some of that glitter eye stuff today?”  Your head is spinning, your mouth is agape…you didn’t expect to have this conversation for another four years!

Our children find these newfangled things irresistible, and we must not underestimate pester power.  When they start wanting things that are outside your bounds of decency, here are a few points to consider:

• Teach your kids morals and values important to your family.  We assume that our children will sort of “inherit” our value system.  But because morals and values are such intangibles, we need to make it a point to actually teach children what they are and, more importantly, why we value them.
• Know your role in the parent-child relationship.  Young children are still developing a sense of self-control.  They are looking to us, as parents, to rein in these inappropriate impulses.  They are testing us and asking if we know where the limits are, and, believe it or not, they feel much more secure when the rules are enforced.
• Set a good example.  From an early age, our kids watch, listen and observe our every move.  They process it into what becomes part of their perceptions and realities.  It’s important for mothers to recognize that we are our daughter’s first and most potent role model.  We must be aware of how we dress, and what we watch, read and listen to as well as what we think is important.
• Know what your kids are into and why.  Parents are so busy that we don’t take time to understand our children’s worlds.  They want a toy, we buy it — sometimes not knowing who the character is or what it does.  When junior really wants something, find out what the motivation is.
• Be very aware of your child’s media consumption.  Keep TVs, computers and video games out of bedrooms.  Make it a rule for all screen time to take place in family areas.  While it’s tempting to use the TV as a sitter, make sure you know what’s on.
• Let kids be kids.  Our children are bombarded with media images of who they’re supposed to be.  But if they’re given ample time to be kids and encourage to have a childhood full of wonder, they’ll enjoy being a child and prolong the experience.
• Allow your kids to make choices at an early age.  Making everyday decisions, such as what to have for breakfast or what book to read at bedtime, is a powerful way for your child to build confidence and self-esteem.  Making decisions in small doses and having a little control over their lives helps children to not feel overwhelmed when faced with bigger choices.
• Ensure that the power of family life outweighs the power of peers.  It’s critical to make family time a priority to show that family always comes first.  Create traditions, such as family game night, one a month to bolster your child’s self-esteem.  As kids get older, the influence of peer groups gets stronger.  A confident child will be less likely to cave under peer pressure.

From Green Eggs and Ham to To Kill a Mockingbird, kids seem to pick the classics when it’s time to read, according to a study of 78.5 million books read by more than 3 million children nationwide.

Dr. Seuss’s book was the most popular choice among first graders, Renaissance Learning found. The company, which looked at kids in 9,800 schools for the study, manages a program in which students take computerized reading comprehension quizzes.  Students earn points based on the book’s word difficulty, word length, sentence length, and total number of words.  Many schools even award prizes to students for their efforts in the program. 

Some teachers were pleased with the popularity of To Kill a Mockingbird, which topped the list for ninth-through-12th graders.  Others say the book owes much of its success to the fact that teachers make it a requirement.  (The report doesn’t distinguish between books that were assigned and those students chose.)

Here are some parenting ideas for bringing out the best in your teenagers.

Listen:  You should listen more than you speak so you can discover what motivates your teen.

Lead by example:  you can preach a better sermon with your life than with your lips.

Don’t give them the answer, show them the answer:  Parents shouldn’t give away the privilege of earning something.  Yes, you can give your child too much.

Communicate the rules up front:  Tell teens what you expect and then stick to what you say.

State things in the positive:  Instead of saying, “Why is your room such a mess?” try “I know your room can look better than that.”  It’s neither an insult nor a direct order.