So it turns out that playing board games can turn your child into a math whiz.  According to research published in the March-April issue of the journal Child Development, number-based board games similar to Chutes and Ladders can help children, especially those from low-income families, develop number skills necessary to do well in math classes.

Disadvantaged children tend to lag behind affluent students in math at the onset of school, and this study found that most low-income children don’t have board games at home.

The children in the study, 124 preschoolers in the federal Head Start program, used a board game with a spinner and took turns moving pieces along a row of numbered squares.  They played four times, for 15-20 minutes each session, over a two-week period.  At the end of the study, the preschoolers who participated could better identify and county numbers and had a sense of which numbers hold a greater value.

“Parents and preschool teachers should know that playing number board games increases young children’s numerical understanding and lays a solid fountain for future learning of mathematics as well.” says Carnegie Mellon Prof. Robert Siegler, coauthor of the study.  –Eddy Ramirez

Part of the reason two-year-olds have tantrums is because they don’t have the words or other tools they need to express their anger or frustration fully or appropriately. For this, your toddler needs your help.

Thus the most important rule in handling tantrums is this:

Ignore the behavior, but don’t ignore your child.

Q-tip

Challenging your child by saying, “No laughing,” may be a good way to transform anger into a burst of the giggles. Yet although this is a very useful trick at times, this approach also slights your toddler’s anger. So if you decide to diffuse your child’s anger in this way, be sure to take the time to encourage her to talk about her anger with you afterward, when she has calmed down.

What is your toddler trying to communicate to you through her tantrum? Anger? Frustration? Ask your child what’s wrong and at the same time, encourage her to calm down enough so that you can help her. Let your child know that if she’s frustrated with something, you can’t possibly help her unless you know what’s wrong-but that you can’t understand her when she tries to talk to you in the midst of a hysterical tantrum.

Don’t ignore your child’s expressions of anger. In fact, if they are appropriate, encourage them. Suppressed anger can become even more explosive. So don’t encourage your toddler to rein in her anger or frustration. Instead, teach your child to express it in non-destructive or non-hurtful ways. Allow and encourage your child to express anger and frustration:

• in words;
• by punching a pillow or mattress;
• by slamming clay around on a cutting board;
• by banging a drum;
• by running around outside;
• by doing something brief, loud, and angry: letting out a “primal scream,” yelling, dancing, or singing about her anger; or
• by creating an angry work of art.

The lessons you teach your child about expressing anger and frustration may seem to have little impact during her third year—and perhaps even her fourth. Your toddler (and later, your preschooler) will no doubt still have angry outbursts, violent episodes, and uncontrollable tantrums at least occasionally. In time, however, your child will absorb these lessons. And learning how to handle anger without becoming destructive or hurtful is an invaluable lesson for anyone, child or adult.

Excerpted from The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Parenting a Preschooler and Toddler, Too © 1997 by Keith M. Boyd, M.D., and Kevin Osborn.

Changing Standards

Kindergarten has evolved from a largely social, developmental environment to an academic one governed by state curriculum standards, educators say.  To ensure children are ready for kindergarten, preschools have been adjusting their own teaching strategies.

Kindergarten teachers now ask children entering their classrooms to have skills such as:

• Writing their own name
• Counting to 10 or higher
• Reciting the alphabet
• Sitting down and listening when instructed
• Using Scissors
• Recognizing basic shapes

Age: Preschool through elementary
Time: 30 minutes or more
Type of activity: Language

Although many of us make individual goals for ourselves to start the New Year, making family goals is a very meaningful way to share your family’s values. This activity allows your child to have a hands-on role in your family’s decision-making process.

Materials needed:
· Paper
· Pen, pencil, or markers
· Post-it notes

What to Do:

Step One: Discuss what a goal is with your child. Tell her about goals you have set for yourself and why having goals is important to you. Be sure to give her concrete examples, as younger children will find this idea hard to follow.

Step Two: Discuss what a good goal for your family would be. (For example, you could decide to be more charitable to a neighbor or friend in need. Or, you could decide to just be more patient with each other.) Let your kids help brainstorm a list of goals to choose from. Remind them that there are no bad suggestions when you are brainstorming. Then set a family goal. You may decide on only one goal, or you may choose a few.

Step Three: Write your family goals on a piece of paper. Then, write the steps your family will need to take in order to reach the goal. Do this for each goal you have set. You may want to change goals every few months in order to keep them fresh.

Step Four: Post your goals on the family bulletin board or refrigerator. Every time a family member achieves a step toward a goal, write “Good Work” and the person’s name on a post-it, and stick it on the list. This will generate both positive feedback for your loved one and continued discussion about the goal.

Question: My son’s preschool classmate threatens the other children with death on a daily basis. He doesn’t, however, seem to do this in the context of a game such as cops and robbers. He’s a bright four-year-old who’s also physically violent, although the threats are more common. The teachers and his mother have assured me that this is normal behavior. I find this hard to believe, considering that the other children seem to be afraid of him. I am considering removing my child from the school because of this. Am I doing the right thing?

Answer: It is absolutely not normal behavior for a preschooler to be making death threats to his peers on an daily basis. I’m surprised that preschool teachers with any training in child development would regard such behavior as “normal.” His mother is clearly in denial about his psychological well-being if she is unconcerned about his chronic, physically violent behavior and his death threats.

I would ask other concerned parents to meet with the head teacher and her staff to discuss what they plan to do about this boy. If they are steadfast in believing that there is nothing to worry about and that his behavior is perfectly normal, I would strongly consider placing your child in another preschool. A preschool staff who would not see this boy’s behavior as seriously destructive and alarming don’t possess the wisdom that I would demand of my child’s caretakers.

Carleton Kendrick has been in private practice as a family therapist and has worked as a consultant for more than 20 years. He has conducted parenting seminars on topics ranging from how to discipline toddlers to how to stay connected with teenagers. Kendrick has appeared as an expert on national broadcast media such as CBS, Fox Television Network, Cable News Network, CNBC, PBS, and National Public Radio. In addition, he’s been quoted in the New York Times, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, Boston Globe, USA Today, Reader’s Digest, BusinessWeek, Good Housekeeping, Woman’s Day, and many other publications.