It’s hard for all of us to take suggestions from people that are close to us.  My involvement with helping with homework looked very much like this:

My Child:  I don’t understand how to do these math problems.

Me:  Here, let me take a look at them.  OK, look back a page or two at the examples and you can see how they are to be done.

My Child (after 10 more minutes of working on his own):  I still don’t get it.

Me:  OK, I will work one problem with you and then you can do the rest.

My Child (after having been shown how to do it):  I still don’t get it.

Me:  Really?  There is the example and  I just showed you how to do it and you still don’t get it?

My Child:  Well, you don’t have to be snotty about it just because you are good at math.

Me:  Let’s try another problem together.

My Child:  I really don’t understand all of this.

Me:  (I am quite frustrated at this point and say something that makes him yell and perhaps start crying)

My Child:  (Sobbing about homework, school and ME!)

And so the party after school goes.  Many kids don’t even like their parents while they are preteens or teens let alone take advice or suggestions from them.  But don’t give up on them…they do come around eventually and think you may be smart after all.  Of course, this happens when they get married and have children of their own!

Give yourself a break and tell yourself you are a good parent even though your children don’t listen to you or take your suggestions.  And if all else fails, remember that you can always call us for “Homework Help”!

It is somewhat similar to the phenomenon of Parental Alienation Syndrome.  Some people may scoff at the notion of this issue but if you tell an impressionable child something long enough, it will stick.  It is similar to someone being told that they are stupid growing up and then believing it the rest of their lives even though they could have a very high I.Q.

Mothers or fathers that employ this tactic to make the other parent look bad in the child’s eyes is beyond selfish.  A parent that truly has the best interests of the children in mind and really loves them would not do this.  Sometimes, it is tempting but not something that your children should be burdened with.

Divorce is difficult.  Divorce is not fun.  Triple that for any children involved.  The best we can do is to encourage the best relationship the kids can have with BOTH parents and to just get along.  Your children will thank you!

• The first tip (#1) is to make sure that you get enough sleep not just the night before the test for but for several nights leading up to it. You need to have your brain well rested and ready for the testing day ahead of you. Part of this tip involves eating a healthy breakfast with some protein and not being hungry during the test so that you are not distracted and all of your thinking is not channeled toward what your next meal is going to be.
•  Tip number two (#2) is to make visual cues for your test, i.e. flashcards, pinning up maps, math problems, dates you need to memorize up in your room so that you see it consistently for a couple of days before your test which helps create a visual in your brain. Don’t think that flashcards or this type of learning is just for little kids. Big kids can benefit from this process as well. Have your sibling, friend or parent quiz you on the subject matter for a few days leading up to the test to guarantee that you will be able to retrieve that information more easily when you need to during the test.
• Tip number three(#3) is to organize yourself before you even get started. There are some subjects we like and those we dislike. Study for awhile on the subjects you don’t like first so that when you get tired of studying at least you are studying something you enjoy.
•  Tip number four (#4) is about noise. I personally work better with the radio on playing music. Others like it quiet. Whatever your personal preference is that helps you study more effectively is what you should do.
• Tip number five (#5) is to close/turn off Facebook, cell phone, Twitter, etc. Spend a solid set amount of time just studying. You can schedule a break every 50 minutes or so to get a snack or look at your Facebook and answer your texts. Just make sure that when those 10 minutes or assigned time is up, it’s time to get back to work with everything off again!
•  Tip number six (#6) is to eat as ‘clean’ as you can all week. Our brains function much better with optimum nutrition and limited caffeine.
• Tip number seven (#7) is regarding friends. Studying with others is great and usually very productive as you can help each other. But if you are more about goofing off and wasting time, reserve that person as a friend and NOT a study partner.
• Tip number eight (#8) is to stagger your studying so that you are not always cramming the books the night before. An extra thirty minutes on a subject each night is better than 2 straight hours of trying to study all at once the night before the test.
•  Tip number nine (#9) is about willpower. Sometimes, you just have to sit down and get it done! Think of the Nike logo — Just Do It!
• Tip number ten (#10) is to relax. If you have prepared properly for the upcoming test you should have no problem and the more you can relax the better will be your recall of the information.

• Live in the present instead of thinking about the next hour, day or week. I am still a work-in-progress on this one.
• I take an hour each day for some form of exercise and try to mix it up so that I don’t become bored.
• If you feel sick or overly tired, stop and take care of yourself. The world is probably not going to stop spinning.
• I have recently started to do some gratitude meditation before I go to bed. I feel more positive when I wake up and seem to sleep exceptionally well.
• I am eating as ‘clean’ as I can as my diet really affects my mood. January is the perfect month to get this started again and clean out all the ‘bad’ you ate during the holidays.
• Forgiveness: I really try not to hold grudges and think about what it is like to walk in another’s moccasins and try not to take anything too personally as I have found in the past that it is usually not about me, but maybe what they are going through at that time.

Sometimes, it is just the best thing to do: Slow down and be compassionate toward yourself. “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!”

I love the internet and texting on my cell, but there is also the ugly side of this as well.  With the current social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter and MySpace and our children’s unsatiable need to text constantly, a lot of harm can occur.

How is cyberbullying defined exactly?  “Cyberbullying” is when a child, preteen or teen is tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise targeted by another child, preteen or teen using the Internet, interactive and digital technologies or mobile phones. It has to have a minor on both sides, or at least have been instigated by a minor against another minor. Once adults become involved, it is plain and simple cyber-harassment or cyberstalking. Adult cyber-harassment or cyberstalking is NEVER called cyberbullying.

Why is this issue so important?  Because many kids that have had this happen to them or have gotten involved in it have killed each other or committed suicide.  There are so many ways that cyberbullying can occur now that we ALL need to be aware of it.  Lewd language, offering the vicitm up for sex on a site, tormenting the victim can certainly do a number and cause a lot of strees to not only the student but the whole family as well!

I found this website to be a great source of information regarding this subject if you need more.  http://www.stopcyberbullying.org/

School is starting now and the paperwork is going to start piling up along with juggling schedules for your children with their sports, music lessons, tutor sessions, etc.  Here are some tips to stay on top of it and NOT end up getting buried in a mountain made up of paper.

1)  When school papers come home, have all your kids put them in a designated place for you.  The kitchen table was always a good place in our household.  There was no possible way I could miss things there.  If they take them to their room, you may never see them and you could miss important functions or not sign something that needed to be signed, etc.

2)  Set up a filing system for the papers that need to be saved.  The important papers that just could NOT be lost, I stored in 3 individual files for my 3 children.  For the papers, tests, and rest of it I had 3 storage boxes in the garage that ALL their papers for the year went into so that if they ever had to look something up or find something they needed, they were there.  I just dropped them right in on top of the last stack.

3)  Have special colored folders for any other types of afterschool activities such as for Tutoring, Religious Ed class, Piano, AYSO, etc.

4)  Have a ‘FAMILY CALENDAR’ in the kitchen.  Everyone can write down upcoming activities as well as check for the scheduling of activities, appointments and social get-togethers.

5)  When the homework is completed, have the kids put ALL of their stuff in their backpack and put it by the front door.  If anything extra is needed for school, such as a box of kleenex for the classroom, put that either in the backpack or by the front door as well.  I ‘trained’ my children to do that and they usually didn’t forget anything important that they needed for school the next day.

Feeling organized and in control is a GREAT way to start the new school year!

I meet a LOT of families each year and I can tell you that from those experiences alone, children generally do better when in an intact family situation.  They seem better adjusted, have more self-esteem and frequently need tutoring because they are trying to get an ‘A” in a difficult class like Calculus and not because they are failing every subject.  This is not true for all the cases, or course, but for the majority.

I am not condemning disrupted families as my marriage with three children ended 17 years ago.  I have personally seen my own children experience difficulties that I don’t think would have otherwise happened were we still married and ALL living together.  I just have a heart for children and like to see them all do well.

I meet families for tutoring consultations where they share with me that their marriage is on the “brink of divorce” and I ALWAYS  recommend to them  to do everything they can to work on the marriage and stay together.  Divorce puts an unbelievable amount of stress on all concerned but most of all the children!  They sometimes look at me as if they have just heard for the first time that marriage is ‘work’.  Yes, I do know that it is a four-letter word but that is what it takes to have good relationships in life and a good marital relationship is important to your well-being and will aid your children tremendously as they navigate this maze called LIFE!

According to a survey conducted by The Chronicle of Higher Education (2006), 61% of high school teachers said that their students have never written a paper longer than five pages. And, a 2007 study of George Washington University freshmen found that in high school, the students were primarily taught how to offer and support opinions, while summarizing and synthesizing information took a back seat.  It appears, therefore, that students are not getting enough practice developing a set of sophisticated writing skills, components of which include: analytical skills; writing structure such as grammar and syntax, the organization of ideas, and the ability to plan a linear argument.  How will these students be able to express themselves succinctly, to effectively communicate, to convince a prospective employer, to excite a reader, to analyze a proposal?

Students are also falling into the habit of informal writing that may be acceptable in e-mail to friends and family, but not in formal writing.  At Simon Fraser University in British Columbia, professors and administrators report that they are seeing more emoticons and texting terms in formal work that is handed in, especially in the last five years. This uptick is attributable to the use of Twitter, Facebook, and other social media where it is acceptable to use abbreviations and ignore punctuation and grammar rules. Thus, “I am unhappy because you’re late” has become “Im L cuz, your l8.” Rummana Khan Hemani, the university’s director of academic advising, commented, “There has been this general sense in the last two or three years that we are finding more students are struggling in terms of language proficiency.”

Spurred by low writing test scores on the GMAT exam, even business schools are reacting to the news. They are seeing undergraduates enter without the basic knowledge needed to write effectively, which can hinder their academic and job success.  Investment banks, consulting firms, and even technology companies stress the importance of writing when hiring candidates.  Careers in finance, marketing, and consulting require preparation of multi-page reports and presentations.  Properly drafting an e-mail is essential in today’s business world.

A foundation of good writing is reading comprehension, and if a person can’t grasp the main argument of a text, then he will not be able to create it on his own. “Reading and writing are highly correlated,” stated ACT’s CEO Richard Ferguson. And, if only 51% of all high school students who took the ACT college entrance exam* are prepared for college-level reading, what can students do now to begin working on improving writing skills? One answer is to start as soon as possible. “We need to get more rigorous, more complex reading into our high school social studies, science, and math courses, and so forth, so that students are actually experiencing those skills and then are prepared to use what’s expected of them when they get to college,” says Ferguson.

Independently, students might create a brainstorming bank and practice writing structured essays on a topic of their choice. Or, a student might try reading an op-ed or editorial in a newspaper once a week and then do the following:  ask himself questions, try to criticize the author’s argument, propose a solution (or alternate solution) to the defined problem, or take the opposite side of the argument and shape his writing to convince a reader of the alternate point of view.

Last but not least, Aim High Tutors has a number of excellent writing tutors available to help students at all levels improve their writing.  Call us today at 949.249.2130 to find out how we can help your student.

*according to an American College Testing Program (ACT) report