Do Your Kids Believe in You?
“Mom, can you come here?” “Mom, can you help me?” “Mom, can you help me with my bed sheets?”
All three of the previous statements I’ve heard from my kids at one time or another. Well, I actually heard them frequently from my kids (Mine are all grown now and off my payroll). The request for help often takes place when one of my kids walks right past one of their siblings to come to me for help. I admit many times when that happens the response that follows from me is something like, “Isn’t your sister/brother right there? Why did you walk all the way in here to ask me?”
But then there are those times when I pause before responding and think about what this means. My kids want ME to help them. My kids need me to help them. My kids believe in me enough to help them. That’s a big deal, and something a dad or mom should be happy about.
As parents we want our kids to believe in us, to have confidence in us, and to feel comfortable coming to us in any situation. Here are five ways to help ensure your kids believe in you.
1. Love Your Kids
No matter what we give to our kids, do for our kids, or say to our kids they just want to be loved by us and spend time with us. Even when we discipline our kids it should be in love. I admit when they did something stupid or very wrong I would yell at them and I am sure did not sound very loving. But when I’m able to slow down and respond with love instead of just reacting, they feel my love.
2. Consistently Show Up
It’s impossible for us or any parent to be at every single thing our kids do. This is especially true in today’s busy world. But to make sure your kids have confidence in you, you must show up, and you must do so consistently. Showing up is your way of making a deposit into your children. Games after school, picking them up after a club meeting, etc. allows you to spend time with them and show that you care. When your deposits are more than your withdrawals you’ll have your kids full of confidence in you.
3. Do What You Say
I believe this is one of the biggest ways we fail as parents. We don’t always do what we say. This could be in the big things like I’ll come to your game or your activity to the small things such as getting them in the bed at the time you declared as bedtime. Punishing them when you threaten that you will needs to be done even if you hate doing it. Honor every promise and commitment you’ve made to the best of your ability. Remember, not all promises begin with the word, “promise.” Just uttering the words is a promise in your kids’ eyes.
4. Protect Your Kids
The day your son or daughter feels unprotected is the day you suffer a big blow in the confidence department of being a parent. This seems so obvious. Yes, if someone tried to physically harm our kids we’d jump right in and do what is needed – lay down our lives for them if needed. But let’s not limit that to only physical protection. Protect them emotionally, relationally, and, especially, spiritually.
When you make a habit out of these things listed above, your kids’ confidence in you will skyrocket! That’s an amazing thing to have!